Selasa, 13 Disember 2011

Two Days After Scan

Lama tak tulis. Tak laratlah. Pregnancy sickness bertambah2. Lebih teruk waktu malam. Ni pun macam paksa diri. Makan yang leh masuk macam ikan, buah-buahan dan nestum. Tu pun kena makan sikit2. Bikin lagi nervous ni, hari ni adalah kali kedua ada bleeding dan spotting. Kali pertama satu hari je. Bed rest satu hari. Sekarang bleeding lagi masa kerja. Dah berhenti sekarang. Semoga takde papalah. Harap2 berdarah biasa je.

Anyway, 20 Disember hari appointment dengan doctor. Dorang pun excited. Kerana usia kandungan baru 6 minggu, jadi buat scan secara transvaginal. Alhamdulillah, nampak dua kantung janin. Satu janin dah nampak jantung. Satu lagi belum. Antara lambat tumbuh atau jadi 'vanishing twin'. Scan akan buat lagi pada 6 Januari ni.

Tapi bila bleeding lagi hari ni, kemungkinan untuk jadi vanishing twinlah. Tawakkal jelah pada Allah. Kita ni meminta yang terbaik. Kalau kembar tu okay, insyaallah nanti kembarlah. Kalau tak mungkin satu nilah yang terbaik.

Khamis, 8 Disember 2011


Alhamdulillah...hari ni genap 4 minggu usia kehamilan mengikut hari haid terakhir. Tu maksud title post kali ni. Period of gestation (POG) 4 weeks. Semoga kekallah kehamilan ni. Nak kata ada tanda2 tu takdelah lagi. Refluks (suka sendawa) dan mual sikit adalah. Tapi...kelmarin terpaksa ke Kudat. Jauh gak perjalanan. Ambil masa 2 jam. Pakai pula VIGO kerajaan yang suspension dan absorber dah rosak. Teruk jadinya mabuk perjalanan. Pergi balik, berkali-kali minta berhenti untuk muntah. Tapi tu pun gara-gara tak makan tengah hari sebelum jalan. Perut kosong, minum soya bean. Hah..tulah jadinya.

Nasib baik, Naim dah belikan makanan. Sampai je rumah (muntah sikit lagi), baring jap. Minta manja, picit sikit kepala. Lega je sikit, terus makan. Wah, terus segar lepas makan. Memang nak makanlah lepas ni sebelum jalan jauh. Another thing, is that I have to travel with a good car. Hari ni bagus. Langsung takda muntah. Sendawa nak naik atas je. Tu okay jelah. Nurses tadi sibuk tanya macam perjalanan kelmarin. Jawap jelah yang kita mabuk. Dah tau gak, mesti driver cerita. Pandai dorang cakap balik, yang mebuk tu buah2 cinta. Amin.

Dalam post kali ni saja je nak post gambar bukti hamil. Gambar ngan keputusan takleh post. Tak pakai tudung.
Nilah keputusan HCG. Jarum terakhir untuk pregnant.

5th December UPT pun positive.
Okay..sekarang nak cari-cari free sample susu untuk ibu mengandung pula.

Start of Pregnancy

A person had suggested to take a picture of myself on the day that we knew we were pregnant for the baby journal. It was a good idea. I took lots of self snap with the results. Turns out the best one was the one me holding the results upside down. I was too tired to take another right picture so I will use the upside down one.

On 5th December, despite just being 2 weeks pregnant, my reflux was getting worse. Usually I can hold my foods. Now, I had vomited twice. But it isn't that bad. No other sign and symptoms felt.

Naim is still in a hard to accept state. He asked me to do a UPT. To reconfirmed! Hmm...for his satisfaction I did the UPT in my afternoon break today. Duh! It was positive. Despite expected, I was still happy too see the lines. Took pictures of the strip too. Now Naim truly believes that I am pregnant. Currently he is impatient for me to start booking my ANC.

People at work also know about the results. They are also happy for us. A friend even ask why am I not on leave. I am feeling fine.  Working at KKIA is not that bad. I am also happier to see pregnant mothers and newborns. No envy or anger. Just what I had prayed for.

The doctor SMS me in the afternoon. My next appointment is on 20 December to scan. In the meantime continue all the meds. Since my crinone will be finishing tomorrow, I will changed to utrogestan. Naim said he will try to accompany me. He'll arrange his calls. He suggested for me to take leave on 19th, but we'll see. Other than all of this, life continues.

Pregnancy Test

1st December 2011 was day 11 after my FET. According to some references, a quantitative β-HCG can be done at day 10. Most references states day 12-14. Being impatient, Naim and I tried a UPT on day 10 (31st November). That was quite stupid to do as β-HCG in ET pregnant patient are lower than natural pregnancies. So, naturally it was negative. However, I did saw a very faint line. But it could had been my imagination.

So on 1st December morning, I drove to Gribbles lab and ordered for myself a serum β-HCG. Despite the price and being a private lab they can only give the results the next day after 10am. Naim wasn't satisfied with that, since doing the  test at Hospital Likas would have given us faster results. What was done, was done. 2nd December is the new date of anticipation.

Next day I called exactly after 10am. Naim and I were at Burger King having our breakfast. Couldn't believe our ears when the reception says it was 288. 288! A very high number. I was expecting just above 5. SMS my doctors immediately. Asked her if we need to repeat the test later. While awaiting for her reply, Naim and I had our doubts. What if it was actually 2.88? We finished eating quickly and drove straight to the lab to get the formal reports.

My hands were in tremors with excitement and nervousness. When I got the report...yes, it was truly 288. Consistent with pregnancies. By that time my doctor had also replied. She was actually on a holiday too. Really sorry to disturb her. She said no need to repeat. It is positive. Continue the meds until next appointment for scan. Date to be given when she returns to work.

Naim and I were euphoric. Immediately told Naim to give the mosque of his Friday's prayer RM100 as my nazar payment. Naim informed my mother stat. She was more excited then we were. She also had made a nazar - fasting for 1 day. Naim didn't make any nazar, but he wishes to give RM500 to add into his family wedding function in Batu Pahat upon getting the good news. My father wanted to make a 'kenduri doa selamat' on 5th December. But Naim and I said to postponed the kenduri until the pregnancy reaches 20 week. Everyone was happy.

I made an announcement at babycenter. They were also happy. I really enjoyed myself. Went shopping happily at 1Borneo. I bought myself the bungee bookmark I always wanted. Naim bought me a gold bracelet (my loans and claims got approved recently). Had again the chocolate cake that I also had before the transfer. I was looking forward to start working on 5th December.

FET and 2WW

So the day of FET was rescheduled to 21st November afternoon at around 3PM. Naim also had to take an emergency leave to accompany me. Really appreciated the friends for covering his calls. Before the transfer we went to 1Borneo  to have lunch. I know I was going to make myself stay at home until the flight after the transfer. We had a lovely lunch at Brooklyn and I had a lovely chocolate cake. The chocolate was oozing out of the cake. It was delicious and made me feel really happy.

We arrived at the clinic at around 2PM. The doctors was just finishing their lunch. Anyway our turn was last, so I had time to refill my bladder before the transfer. While waiting for our turn I prayed. I read some Quran verses that I saved in my phone. I made a nazar. The nazar was just to give a mosque, any mosque RM100 if the FET was successful.

Then the time for transfer came. We had two batches of frozen embryos. Three for each batch. They had thawed one batch. Alhamdulillah, they survived the process and the grade are good. All three seems to be in grade A condition. The embryologist asked us if we want to freeze one of it. Both of us agree that we want to transfer all three. The embryologist seems surprised, and I had to sign the form acknowledging the risk of multiple pregnancies. But after the failed thawing of embryos previously, we were not risking of refreezing an embryo.

So the FET was done. Good thing I didn't have to have a full bladder for the transfer. FET went smoothly and I didn't have to go to bathroom after the transfer. We went straight back home. I had my MC for one whole week. Naim went back to work the next day. Just relaxed myself at home for three days. Family was really supportive. I joined the website during that time. There was nothing much to do. What was left was only prayer and tawakkal.

In the meantime besides prayers and tawakkal, Naim and I travelled to Penang. We attend Faizi and Baizura's (Naim' brother) wedding, explored some part of Penang and ate some great foods there. There were times when I was worried that all those activities would risks the implantation, but I kept reminding myself to enjoy myself. A lot of women can get pregnant despite hard labor, harsh weathers and various stress on them. Why should a holiday in Penang be any different or bring risks? That was also one of my questions/complaints/statements to God spoken only in the heart. 

The 2ww was felt really long. Naim and I was very impatient. So I did researched at the internet and also recalled that the doctors say a minimal of 10 days wait after the transfer before we can test for quantitative β-HCG. So for the upcoming date that we were looking forward to was 1st December. 5th December was initially planned by the doctors would be the next date to look forward to if 1st became negative.

The Start to IVF

These posts just started when I wanted to start babbling my frustration on unable to conceive. I typed this since September. But just managed to post it now. So the story starts like this.

I got married in 2006 while studying. So naturally, I wouldn't want to get pregnant when I was studying. So for 7 months plus I was on OCP. Then nearing the end of education, we tried to get pregnant so that I could deliver before starting working. Sadly after 6 months of trying with no luck, we went to Fertility Center of my university hospital.

There, we found out that I was okay but my husband has abnormal sperm morphology. The andrologist said that my husband has varicocele and overweight. Varicocele is quite normal but the weight is difficult to cut down. So we plan to continue our treatment at Malaysia.

However life as a houseman is hard. We found that not having a child yet was a blessing in disguise. But 6 months before finishing my houseman, we want to try aggressively. Since I already consulted the consultant fertility specialist, she suggested for IVF and ISCI.

So our journey began since 2010. Our investigations that was done in Indonesia was still valid. We just repeat the HSA and hormonal studies. First IVF attempt was okay. The daily jabs was still tolerable. Sedation was okay. Managed to get 6 embryos. First attempt of transfer failed. The second time of frozen embryo transfer also failed. The last two didn't survive the thawing process. That was really frustrating.

So we tried another cycle of IVF. The OPU was before the Ramadan, on 22nd July 2011. 21 ovum were retrieved that day. However, no ET was done because my ovaries was overstimulated as marked by the number of ovum retrieved.  A successful ET can cause serious complications. So an FET was scheduled after the raya holidays.

Oh, the agony of waiting for the right time.  Up until September my period wasn't quite perfect for the transfer. My period cycle became 40 days. Made me thinking I was pregnant.  But, of course not. Due to that on 8th September I started typing this down. Venting out my frustration and I managed to recall it quite well when I continue it back in December.

Frustration didn't just come from the waiting. I am working as a medical officer in a clinic for mothers and children. Seeing some mothers that get pregnant so easily and or in my opinion don't deserve to become parents or have lots of children really makes you feel angry and envy.

When I got my period in October on the 18th (another late menses), I contacted the doctor. I was really hoping for the transfer to be done in November. Alhamdulillah, it was possible if my next menses will fall before or on the 13 November. So OCP was started immediately and stopped on 7th November.

My period came on 10th October, so everything was right on scheduled. 13th October I started on Progynova to prepare the endometrial lining. November was quite a busy month. Other than the FET, we also had plans for travel to Penang at the end of the month. It was to attend Naim's brother (Faizi)  wedding and also for sight seeing. We were worried it might affect the FET but the doctor says it's okay. So it was planned that my FET on the 23rd Nov. The flight to Penang was on 24th and I take leave until 4th December.

So on the 18th October, scan day to make sure the ET at the right thickness. Turns out my ET was perfect for transfer   on Monday 21st November. That totally ruined my plan to work two days before the long break. But what is meant to be is meant to be. My nurses did ask why I didn't just take 2 weeks off, so it turned out just like that. I HAD TO TAKE 2 WEEKS OFF.

Mula Nak Kongsi

Assalamualaikum..salam sejahtera kepada sesiapa yang sudi nak baca blog ni. Kali pertama buat blog jadi rasa macam rasmi sangat. Padahal selama ini dah buat 'notes' dan kongsi macam-macam di Facebook. Tapi blog lain, sebab blog boleh dibaca sesiapa sahaja. Walaupun orang yang kita tak kenal. Akhirnya, terkumpul juga keberanian untuk mulakan blog ini.

Macam-macam yang boleh dikongsi. Tapi yang utama dan yang buat Hazwani berani nak buat blog ini adalah kerana nak kongsi tentang IVF kami suami isteri. Hazwani sedar macam tak banyak blog tentang pengalaman pasangan yang buat IVF. Lagi-lagi dari orang Melayu. Mungkin salah cari kot sebab tu tak jumpa. Tapi takpelah, Hazwani akan tambahkan maklumat lagi kat internet ni. Dengan izin suami dan Allah, Hazwani mulakan blog tentang IVF ni.

Post seterusnya lebih dalam Bahasa Inggeris, sebab Hazwani dah tertaip 'journal' dan perasaan tu dalam Bahasa Inggeris.